Explain the situation of gender equality and solutions about sustainability in the fashion industry

1.please delete the useless sentence or narrative to be 1500 words.2. Fix the grammar problem, and revise as my prof comments.3. Zeyuan, there are some strengths in this submission in that it is clear that you are developing an awareness of academic conventions. You attempt to begin with a logical introduction, which provides some context and contains a thesis statement that aims to anchor the structure of your writing and guide the reader through your argument. Moreover, in general your structure is quite clear with a funnel introduction and reverse funnel conclusion, and body paragraphs that link back to the thesis statement. It also seems you have selected a relevant topic; namely, gender inequality in the fashion industry. Another strength in your essay is that you have an awareness of the need to support your points from selected sources and you have incorporated them using the Harvard style of referencing. However, it is rather difficult to follow your essay as there is no clear line of discussion. Much of your essay is off-topic as it does not relate to the fashion industry, in particular most of your first two body paragraphs. Further, although you introduce patterns of good practice when you discuss the issue of gender-neutral clothing, there is very little evaluation or analysis. In addition, you tend to make some very bold claims which would benefit from the use of cautious language or hedging.